Thursday, March 30, 2017

"LAURIE ALERT" UPDATE ;) (4:30pm Thursday March 30, 2017)


I'm pleased to report that the pinging of Ms Finger's cell phone combined with numerous tips and sightings from the public along with good old detective work has all resulted in a happy ending.

Ms Finger's cell phone pinging revealed her GPS coordinates to be at Lakes Regional Park in Ft Myers, FL. The park is made up of 279 acres including a 158 acre freshwater quarry lake, 2.5 miles of trails, numerous picnic shelters, splash pad water playgrounds, community gardens, miniature train rides, outdoor fitness center, amphitheater, and much much more. It's an absolutely amazing place to be held captive!

Investigators quickly accessed the park's security camera feed. One of the parking lot cameras showed a man with skinny legs fixing a flat tire on the same truck used in the kidnapping of BIRTHDAY GIRL Laurie Finger ;). Another camera showed the same man with skinny legs fixing a flat tire on one of the bikes that has been hauled around by the same truck.

Investigators were then able to access trail cams, hammock cams, and a new camera source called, "The Idiot Cam" (which is used to capture footage of people making a fool or idiot out of themselves... this footage is then sent to "America's Funniest Videos" in an effort to win cash prizes that help fund Lee County Parks).

Trail cams showed black and white footage of Ms Finger and her kidnapper riding bikes and rollerblading together on a beautiful spring day with a slight breeze from the northeast. Hammock cams captured an image of Ms Finger and her kidnapper laying in separate hammocks near each other with bikes close by. It appears as if they are having a lot of fun together - which is something authorities are calling a pattern.

Detectives then tapped into The Idiot Cam to see if there was any footage of Ms Finger and her kidnapper. To their surprise and amusement The Idiot Cam captured 3 episodes of the kidnapper taking a spill - once while biking, once while rollerblading, and once while laying in the hammock.

This footage along with tips received from Sid Meyer about frequent flat tires and tips received from Dan Graham about skinny legs has led investigators to positively identify the kidnapper as Doug Garner. Mr Garner is Ms Finger's boss and possibly her boyfriend, fiance, husband, or friend (no one seems to be able to positively confirm the nature of their relationship).

Regardless of the nature of their relationship, authorities are using the footage taken from The Idiot Cam as evidence to now confirm what many have speculated... Doug Garner has indeed fallen for Laurie Finger!

Upon arrival to Lakes Regional Park, authorities apprehended Mr Garner alongside of a fire truck where he was being treated for multiple scrapes, cuts, bruises, and lacerations related to his many wipe outs earlier in the day.

After intense questioning authorities have released Mr Garner from custody listing several compelling reason: (1) There was no criminal intent. (2) There was, in fact, very good intentions. (3) The woman kidnapped was not held against her will. She was not only a willing victim, she was an eager participant. (4) Mr Garner had registered this kidnapping with FBOFK - The Federal Bureau of Friendly Kidnapping. (5) Mr Garner actually reported daily updates about the friendly kidnapping on his personal Facebook page. (F) Lakes Regional Park stands to make hundreds of dollars from The Idiot Cam footage of Mr Garner's not-so-epic fails.

Even with all of those reasons to release Mr Garner from custody, authorities still felt as if they needed to implement some type of punishment for all the hard work, man hours, and anguish that went into this case. So they are requiring him to write an essay about this experience. They may or may not release the completed essay to the public.

Authorities want to profoundly thank the public for all their help in bringing about a happy resolution to this case. Updates to follow.