The past month has been full of lots & lots of depression and sadness with little (& sometimes big) glimmers of joy each day... but mostly heavy doses of depression. It's hard to get out of bed each morning and I tend to want to go back to bed all day long. As weird as it sounds it feels very healthy to have this amount of grief. It feels like the very definition of what it means to mourn. It's all a part of this journey of grieving. I'm not suppressing anything and talking about everything. Laurie has stayed with me everyday since the initial incident... she sleeps on the sofa every night and we talk and workout every day. I had two & a half days last week with only mild depression so I do see little glimpses of what the future looks like, but I feel like I have a long road of healing ahead of me... not just for the loss of my Dad which is huge, but for the loss of both my parents as well as the toll of intense caregiving over the past 5 years as well as all the little & big regrets I have over the past 5 years plus this awful reality that it's all over... I mean that since I was 12 years old I planned to always be here to take care of my parents so it has always been a part of my identity... now it's all over and it feels very awkward and frankly sad, especially with the moments that were unbearably hard or the moments I failed to have a loving bedside manner... caregiving is a mirror that shows you the best inside of you as well as the most rotten selfish parts of you... and both God & I have seen the absolute ugliest parts of me over the past 5 years even if I was able to hide it from my parents 90% of the time. But that 10% that did reveal itself are part of my grieving process. I plan to seek some professional counseling after we bury my Dad. But right now we have so much to celebrate about this truly extraordinary man who was one of my heroes and whom I loved dearly as well as probably the person who frustrated me the most in my life too LOL. Buuuuuut, way more to love than to be frustrated by 😊😊😊 .... so come out and celebrate the life of our Dad next Saturday if you can!!
CELEBRATING THE LIFE OF JERRY GARNER
JANUARY 18, 2025 (4pm - 6:30pm)
(This service will also be live-streamed)
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Park Place Wesleyan Church
4400 70th Ave N
Pinellas Park, FL 33781
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Come celebrate the life of our beloved "Tomato Man" at the Celebration of Life Service for Jearld Douglass Garner on Saturday January 18, 2025 at 4pm. (This service will also be live-streamed for those unable to attend in-person). A reception with food & refreshments will follow in the dining hall. A variety of family & friends will speak on stage, and an open mic time will be available for all who would like to share a short 3-4 minute "Jerry Story".
My new mottos inspired by Dad's life of generosity are "DARE TO CARE" & "LIVE TO GIVE"... everywhere he went he cared, cared, cared & gave, gave, gave... he loved to give... he lived to give! It wasn't something he did; it was who he was... it was part of his DNA.
On behalf of our entire family, THANK YOU SO MUCH for the outpouring of love over the past month. Dad is sooooooo loved by so many ❤️ . We deeply miss his presence in our daily lives, yet we find comfort in knowing he is now pain-free, reunited with Mom, and in the presence of God.
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