Friday, March 31, 2017

Raise your hand if you want to have a great time this weekend!

We're already off to a great start with Elevate Youth Group of Calvary Church of Clearwater!

Looking forward to all that God has in store for us this weekend =)


After a great mini vacay for Laurie's birthday we are refreshed, fueled up, and right back to our weekend retreats!

We are setting up camp for another one of our favorite groups - Elevate High School Youth Group from Calvary Church of Clearwater.

Pastor Justin Facenda and Carie Facenda do a PHENOMENAL JOB leading up Elevate and reaching out to so many youth in the Clearwater area!

Can't wait for this event to begin in a few hours!!

Thursday, March 30, 2017

"LAURIE ALERT" UPDATE ;) (4:30pm Thursday March 30, 2017)


I'm pleased to report that the pinging of Ms Finger's cell phone combined with numerous tips and sightings from the public along with good old detective work has all resulted in a happy ending.

Ms Finger's cell phone pinging revealed her GPS coordinates to be at Lakes Regional Park in Ft Myers, FL. The park is made up of 279 acres including a 158 acre freshwater quarry lake, 2.5 miles of trails, numerous picnic shelters, splash pad water playgrounds, community gardens, miniature train rides, outdoor fitness center, amphitheater, and much much more. It's an absolutely amazing place to be held captive!

Investigators quickly accessed the park's security camera feed. One of the parking lot cameras showed a man with skinny legs fixing a flat tire on the same truck used in the kidnapping of BIRTHDAY GIRL Laurie Finger ;). Another camera showed the same man with skinny legs fixing a flat tire on one of the bikes that has been hauled around by the same truck.

Investigators were then able to access trail cams, hammock cams, and a new camera source called, "The Idiot Cam" (which is used to capture footage of people making a fool or idiot out of themselves... this footage is then sent to "America's Funniest Videos" in an effort to win cash prizes that help fund Lee County Parks).

Trail cams showed black and white footage of Ms Finger and her kidnapper riding bikes and rollerblading together on a beautiful spring day with a slight breeze from the northeast. Hammock cams captured an image of Ms Finger and her kidnapper laying in separate hammocks near each other with bikes close by. It appears as if they are having a lot of fun together - which is something authorities are calling a pattern.

Detectives then tapped into The Idiot Cam to see if there was any footage of Ms Finger and her kidnapper. To their surprise and amusement The Idiot Cam captured 3 episodes of the kidnapper taking a spill - once while biking, once while rollerblading, and once while laying in the hammock.

This footage along with tips received from Sid Meyer about frequent flat tires and tips received from Dan Graham about skinny legs has led investigators to positively identify the kidnapper as Doug Garner. Mr Garner is Ms Finger's boss and possibly her boyfriend, fiance, husband, or friend (no one seems to be able to positively confirm the nature of their relationship).

Regardless of the nature of their relationship, authorities are using the footage taken from The Idiot Cam as evidence to now confirm what many have speculated... Doug Garner has indeed fallen for Laurie Finger!

Upon arrival to Lakes Regional Park, authorities apprehended Mr Garner alongside of a fire truck where he was being treated for multiple scrapes, cuts, bruises, and lacerations related to his many wipe outs earlier in the day.

After intense questioning authorities have released Mr Garner from custody listing several compelling reason: (1) There was no criminal intent. (2) There was, in fact, very good intentions. (3) The woman kidnapped was not held against her will. She was not only a willing victim, she was an eager participant. (4) Mr Garner had registered this kidnapping with FBOFK - The Federal Bureau of Friendly Kidnapping. (5) Mr Garner actually reported daily updates about the friendly kidnapping on his personal Facebook page. (F) Lakes Regional Park stands to make hundreds of dollars from The Idiot Cam footage of Mr Garner's not-so-epic fails.

Even with all of those reasons to release Mr Garner from custody, authorities still felt as if they needed to implement some type of punishment for all the hard work, man hours, and anguish that went into this case. So they are requiring him to write an essay about this experience. They may or may not release the completed essay to the public.

Authorities want to profoundly thank the public for all their help in bringing about a happy resolution to this case. Updates to follow.

"LAURIE ALERT" UPDATE ;) (10:15am Wednesday March 29, 2017)

With the ongoing search for kidnapped ;) BIRTHDAY GIRL Laurie Finger stretching into the 4th day authorities have begun strongly leaning towards the theory that this entire event is what they are referring to as a "Friendly Kidnapping".

Photo enhancement of yesterday's bicycling picture confirm the woman to be Ms Finger and the man to probably be Doug Garner, although his identity has not been completely confirmed yet.

Investigators aren't releasing much about the contents of Mr Garner's diary except that his favorite numbers are 3, 7, 10, and 100 depending on the context and time of the year.

It does appear by the frequent smiles and the unwillingness to attempt escape that Ms Finger is either a willing victim in this kidnapping or that she has grown to enjoy being kidnapped very much. This has befuddled many people working on the case.

The most recent update is that investigators have begun pinging Ms Finger's cell phone to locate her GPS coordinates. This has proven to be a highly effective means of tracking her location although the kidnapper remains elusive and unknowingly seems to stay just one step ahead of authorities.

Yesterday's pinging showed that Ms Finger spent the first half of the day at Corkscrew Swamp Sanctuary walking the 2.5 mile boardwalk. Trail Cameras captured a photo of Ms Finger along with her kidnapper as they watched and photographed wildlife and the rare beautiful surrounding scenery. In a remarkably surprising photograph taken by an eyewitness (who wants to remain anonymous)  from behind, Ms Finger and her kidnapper appear to be holding hands at the sanctuary. It appears authentic, but may have been a ruse to blend in with the general public. Authorities are very confused.

Later in the day cell phone pinging showed Ms Finger and her kidnapper kayaking 5 miles in a wonderful maze of beautiful mangroves at Black Island near Ft Myers Beach, FL. Parking lot cameras and aqua cams caught images of them unloading their kayak, talking to a maintenance man, launching their kayak, and paddling along the lovely and serene kayak trail. Several of these pictures where enhanced with color technology.

Nearby boardwalk and beach security cameras along with eyewitness photography captured images of Ms Finger and her kidnapper walking to the beach and enjoying the sunset.

Investigators have so many theories and thoughts and unanswered questions, but are refusing to comment at this time. They believe finding Ms Finger and her kidnapper is imminent, but still ask the public for their continued assistance.

Stay tuned for more updates and comment below with any tips or eyewitness sightings.

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

"LAURIE ALERT" UPDATE ;) (11:15am Tuesday March 28, 2017)


Tips, security camera footage, and eye witnesses accounts of possible sightings have been pouring in since our last update yesterday afternoon about the possible whereabouts of kidnapped ;) BIRTHDAY GIRL Laurie Finger.

The possible sightings have literally poured in across the nation and even the universe. Investigators say that the accounts range from highly probable sightings to the absurd.

Some of the more absurd sightings include seeing her driving a bus in Los Angeles with actor Keanu Reeves. Another claimed she was being interviewed with George Clooney about astronauts. Another said they saw a pretty woman that resembles Ms Finger being photographed with Richard Gere. Some say they saw her in a wedding dress with a big smile going by the name of Julia. But the most outlandish sighting had her in outter space orbiting the earth. Authorities have dismissed all of these sightings as balderdash.

An interesting sighting that authorities haven't dismissed had her on stage playing a guitar and sinking with a strange looking bald guy in Paris and going by the name of Yael Naim. She was also playing the piano and performing with great enthusiasm in front of a large audience. A small team of investigators is pursuing this lead with the theory that Ms Finger may have faked her kidnapping in order to pursue a lifelong dream of being a musician, but most of her family and friends are saying that she never had musical ambitions, she doesn't play any instruments, and her singing voice is almost as "extremely unpleasant" as Mr Garner's.

But the most reliable sightings have come from Sanibel Island, FL. A grounds keeper named Manuel Labor was getting his picture taken as he worked on the landscape of a wildlife refuge in Sanibel Island. He later realized that the truck in the background of the picture was the same truck used in the kidnapping of BIRTHDAY GIRL Laurie Finger. Another person in the same area submitted a picture he was taking of the surrounding waterways of Sanibel Island. In the picture 2 people matching the description of Ms Finger and her kidnapper can be seen riding bikes on a beautiful peaceful paved trail along the water. Another person accidentally captured a  picture of a shadowy figure who also matched the description of the kidnapper. A final possible sighting was of 2 people matching the same description laying on inflatable lounges on Sanibel Island Beach while watching the sunset.

All of these sightings correlate with the newest security camera pictures released from businesses near Sanibel Island. One security camera picture shows a healthy Ms Finger walking into a CVS with her suspected kidnapper. Another security camera picture shows the suspected assailant fueling up at a nearby Shell gas station.

All of this comes alongside of a raid of Mr Garner's apartment and office that yielded recent receipts of a new ladies bicycle, 2 new inflatable lounges, and 2 new sets of rollerblades. According to anonymous sources close to the investigation the receipts were reportedly found next to a note that reads, "Operation Kidnap".

In addition, Mr Garner's personal diary was found at the scene. Detectives are reading through it for possible clues.

Authorities are starting to piece together a viable theory of what is taking place, but will not comment at this time. They are still requesting the public's help in the active and ongoing investigation.

Stay tuned for more updates and comment below with any tips or eyewitness sightings.