Tuesday, October 1, 2024

UPDATE ON DAD

First off, we weathered the hurricane well. We only had branches down and lost power for 16 hours (we had a generator to get us thru). Compared to the devastation that others are experiencing we were unscathed. Our hearts are broken to see so many in our community lose just about everything. It's brutally gut wrenching. So giving an update about Dad feels almost inappropriate. But I know he has so many that love him and genuinely want to know how he is doing. To sum it up, he isn't doing well. He hasn't been able to walk since Friday which makes everything waaaaay harder. He has recently lost dear friends & close family members which crushes his heart. He had his lower GI tract probed and they found polyps with high risks of cancer so he has another system that is failing. His kidneys & heart are always in decline. He is 100% of the time in a lot of pain & discomfort, but because of his kidney disease he is limited on pain meds. Basically he is miserable, but he rarely complains. There are days when I think he is in the last season of his life. I honestly don't know how he keeps on keeping on. I never give up, and I would have given up a long time ago if I had all that he has going on... so I have great respect for his perseverance. Over the past 4 days he can't walk and is on laxatives, and that is a crazy combination... he needs help getting to the bathroom and the laxatives sneak up on him without warning so it's an around the clock race to the bathroom before things get real messy. And yes, things have gotten real messy!! I have seen "things" and cleaned "things" I've never wanted to see or clean... I may need counseling when this is all over hahahaha! But it's what we do as a family... thick and thin. Neither one of us has slept hardly at all in 4 days because of the laxatives. I just tell him we are having a weekend frat party as we party all night long on the "potty" haha. He is around 200 lbs so not everyone can help transfer him from bed to wheelchair, from wheelchair to vehicle, from vehicle back to wheelchair, from wheelchair to toilet, etc. Overall his medical needs have skyrocketed over the past 6 months. Every issue that occurs requires a doctor's visit then a referral to a specialist then an appointment for diagnostic testing then a doctor's visit to go over the results then an appointment for surgery or procedure then hospitalization then follow up doctor's appointments for results & continued follow up... and this goes on for every system that goes wrong... and then Dad has the same types of doctors in both the VA and private health care so many times we are duplicating visits simply because he wants to go to both providers. That part is insane to me, but Dad has a way of doing what he wants to do. He is an unstoppable force, and that's not always a good thing lol. So currently we have 1-2 doctor's appointments or dialysis 6 days per week... everyday but Sunday... this frequency has been going on for months and will go on for many more months. We are blessed with the best village of helpers - Tom, Dianne, Laurie, Dave, Carson, myself, others, and Dad's home health aide thru the VA who comes here 5 days per week (M-F) for 4 hours each visit. It's astonishing how many people it takes to keep one person surviving. It's a heavy toll that paralyzes your ability and availability to do much more than caregive so it's very difficult to see the local need of devastation and know I could help with the clean up and rebuilding, but I need to stay within 50 feet of my Dad because that old laxative is going to be calling soon. I'm just saying that because I want to be involved in helping others, but this is where God has me right now helping my Dad, and I've got to be alright with that... and I is. It doesn't make it easy to not be able to help friends and community, but I'm content knowing I'm doing what God has me doing. I'm going to give you an update on me on another post because I just celebrated my 54th birthday (still haven't read my FB birthday wishes from last week, but I'm looking forward to it), but basically I'm doing GREAT!! Ever since my breakthrough in early August God healed me of a lot of things in a split second when I stopped resisting Him on this current journey I'm on. Everyday since then has been one of the best days of my life... even while cleaning up "messy" things. Keep my Dad in your prayers please. Growing old and going thru the long "dying process" is about the worst thing I have ever witnessed with my Mom and now with my Dad. It's hard to watch, especially when there is nothing you can do to stop the inevitable. The best thing I can do is turn laxative messes into late night frat parties and administer the best 3 medications ever created >>> companionship, love, & laughter 😀